


Kierkegaard

by MerelyLies



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, bi! chidi, but in its heart its eleanor/chidi, google kierkegaard he's the only fit philosopher, this has a few vague romances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24293941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerelyLies/pseuds/MerelyLies
Summary: Kierkegaard was different. He was the first philosopher to arrive that Chidi had actually idealised during his time on Earth. He was the father of existentialism, damn it, and what was Chidi doing, if not always having an existential crisis? No, this was special. That must be why it felt like he was swallowing a stone.
Relationships: Chidi Anagonye/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	Kierkegaard

Eleanor brings it up one morning, over almond milk and Lucky Charms.

“So,” she says, looking uncharacteristically nervous. “Cleopatra got in a couple of weeks back.”

“Yeah, I heard,” Chidi replied, flipping through his newspaper. “She seems pretty cool.”

“She asked me on a date.” Eleanor blurted out, and Chidi looked up in surprise. “And I sort of want to go because I love you so so much but also I want to kiss other people now and then but I don’t want to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable— “

“No.” He smiled, feeling strangely nonchalant. “That’s cool. I’m actually okay with that.”

And that was that.

* * *

It wasn’t that they never talked about it, because they did. Eleanor would chat to him about the attractive people she blessed with her time, and now and then Chidi would have a story to tell too. It made sense, he reasoned to himself. They had already seen the ennui of eternal existence, and so by allowing each other to date freely they saved themselves. She always came home with heavy philosophy books she wanted to talk about, and he would throw shrimp at her head to make her laugh.

The Jeremy’s kept sliding comfortably into Bearimy’s until he came. Søren Kierkegaard.

It was always a celebratory thing, for Chidi, when a philosopher got into the Good Place, no matter who they were. He had even clapped in David Hume, despite spending most of his life arguing against his work.

Kierkegaard was different. He was the first philosopher to arrive that Chidi had actually idealised during his time on Earth. He was the father of existentialism, damn it, and what was Chidi doing, if not always having an existential crisis? No, this was special. That must be why it felt like he was swallowing a stone.

“He’s cute.” Eleanor said from his side. They were in line at the cinema (“Chidi, tell them this is the Good Place and there shouldn’t be lines— “) to see Frozen 2 and Kierkegaard was standing a few spots ahead, eating Malteasers. ”Got your notebook with your list of things to talk to him about?”

“Uh, no. Well, yeah, but we’re going to see the film and I kinda want to see what happens to Elsa in this one. I hope she finds some happiness.” He chattered frantically, and she nodded, patting his arm.

“Me too, bud. Me too.”

* * *

It’s not that they had never made rules around the openness of their relationship. They had discussed it, once, when the whole gang was there, over drinks. Michael couldn’t understand the concept of monogamy, Janet kept offering up the history of polyamory, and Jason wouldn’t shut up about how he had once been in two dance troupes at the same time.

“I suppose I understand it.” Tahani had said, peering tipsily into her empty, wine stained glass. “I’ve quite enjoyed dating here. There’s not much pressure to find someone for forever.”

“Well don’t worry, hot stuff.” Eleanor had winked, herself even more merry. “You can date me all you want.”

“Ew, no. After all these years, you’re like a sister to me.” Tahani had replied, missing the sudden blankess of Eleanor’s face. “Chidi, however…”

Everyone laughed, Eleanor had asked if Tahani had even _seen_ porn, and the night continued unencumbered.

When they had gotten home, however, Eleanor had stopped and peered at him with an almost childish vulnerability.

“Can you… not do anything with Tahani, please?” Her voice was quiet, trembling, and he nodded and held her hand tightly in his own.

“Promise.”

They had never spoken of it again.

* * *

Kierkegaard seemed to pop up wherever he went. He enjoyed libraries, and cafes and theatres and so truly it made sense that they bumped into each other so often. Chidi was even on first name basis with him now, but it made his brain hurt to think of him as anything other than Kierkegaard.

What made his brain hurt more, though, was Kierkegaard himself. He had wavy dark hair that framed his face, and big, smouldering eyes that seemed to follow Chidi wherever he went. His jaw was sharp, and chiselled, and his lips looked softer than they had any right to be.

“I don’t understand it.” He announced to Eleanor one evening, as he watched London traffic. It was her pick for where they went for lunch, and Eleanor had wanted to sit in a fancy London restaurant and count pigeons.

It was a new hobby of hers that he didn’t quite understand. She reasoned that if Tahani had a bucket list, so could she, and her bucket list was to see 100,000 pigeons. Every time Tahani would tell them her latest accomplishment, Eleanor would reply with the amount of pigeons she had seen. It was vaguely bizarre but it was the least of his problems.

She hummed vaguely.

“Look, five more, that’s seventy-three—“ She grinned, adding some more marks to her notebook. Chidi ignored her.

“It’s cool that Kierkegaard’s here, but it feels like he’s wherever I go. I went to Naples the other day and he was just sitting there casually eating the parmigiana di melanzane!”

“Ooh that’s a nice dish. I fancy that now. Seventy seven.”

“Then I went to the Great Library of Alexandria yesterday and he was there, too! Reading Harry Potter and asking me if I thought he’d be good in Ravenclaw.” He continued, voice speeding up.

“He’s an obvious Hufflepuff. Eighty three.”

“Right? Then this morning he asked me if I preferred carrot cake or lemon cake, and I said carrot, because they improve your vision, and he said that I had perfect vision anyway, because this is the Good Place, and I said—“

“Have you got a crush on him, Cheedster?” Eleanor asked, almost uninterestedly, as she noticed another six pigeons. Chidi stared at her, his stomach tightening in a familiar way.

“Oh.”

* * *

“Chidi!” Eleanor called after him as she ran into their house. He had ran, quite literally, away from Eleanor’s question and had chosen to hide in their bed, instead. “Chidi I was eleven pigeons away from getting us our dinner for free.”

“Our dinner was already free. And you don’t get free food for counting pigeons.” He replied, his voice muffled under blankets. Eleanor frowned.

“Well, you don’t with that attitude. What’s up, bud?”

He poked his head out from beneath the covers and peeked up at her. “I think I have a crush on Kierkegaard.” He admitted. She laughed.

“So? I have, like, a thousand crushes a bearimy. Go ask him out.” She replied, kicking off her shoes and crawling under the covers to join him. He sighed and rest his head on her shoulder.

“I’ve never had a crush on a man before.” He admitted, feeling strangely vulnerable. He felt Eleanor nod, but she did not speak. “Does this make me bisexual? Or maybe this is just a side effect of being immortal, that you inevitably start feeling attraction towards everyone? But then is it invalidating to actual bisexual people to treat their sexuality as something not as something as a trait they hold, but as a guaranteed result of desperation? And does that mean I believe lesbian women secretly want straight men? Am I invalidating all of the LGBT community by—“

“Woah, bud.” Eleanor interrupted, combing her hands through his hair. “Calm down.”

“Sorry.” He said, trying to compose himself. “I just feel like my identity has shattered, a bit. I don’t like the idea that still, after all this time, I still don’t know myself properly.”

They sat in that confession for a while before Eleanor spoke.

“Well, maybe that’s a good thing. It shows that you’re still changing. Maybe you were straight on Earth, but now, given endless time, what gets you all hot and horny is starting to change.” She said, her eyes distant. “Maybe you’ll see Kierkegaard from across the room and everything else will just sort of fade and he’ll walk over and be like “you coming back to mine?” and you two go back to his house and get all nerd horny over each other and then – “

“Eleanor!” He interrupted, as she bit her lip. She gazed at him, her eyes clouded with lust.

“Wanna do it?” She grinned, her grip on his hair suddenly tightening.

“Well, obviously.”

* * *

She had not answered all his questions. Not even close. He had issues with this, certainly – if he was queer now, did that mean all his work was queer literature? –but he was curious. More than that, it felt a bit old, not just going for things he wanted. A bit Earth Chidi.

He kissed Kierkegaard in Copenhagen one evening as they watched the sun set over the canal. Kierkegaard used far too much tongue, he discovered, and too many teeth, oddly enough, and Chidi’s attraction quickly fizzled out.

“Chidi,” Kierkegaard said, staring him dead in the eyes. “Look after my heart, I've left it with you.”

“Is that from Twilight?” Chidi asked, his eyes wide. Kierkegaard nodded.

“Team Edward.” He replied, his expression serious.

“Cool.” Chidi grimaced.

* * *

There was no more kissing Kierkegaard. Eleanor had laughed uproariously when he had told her about the Twilight quote, and then made him watch all the films back to back.

“I’m team Jacob all the way. Look at those muscles.” She said, stuffing shrimp into her mouth. They were sitting on their loveseat, a blanket Tahani had knit draped over them. The water outside was smooth and peaceful, as always, and as always Chidi wondered how on Earth he had deserved Eleanor.

“Yeah.” He said, staring at her. She laughed.

“I’m serious man! Look at those muscles. Tell me you’re not team Jacob.” She exclaimed. He laughed, but turned to the screen anyway.

“Those are nice muscles.” He admitted, trailing his eyes down an abs riddled body.

She hummed in approval of his agreement and popped another piece of shrimp in her mouth.

“I think I like men sometimes.” Chidi said, staring straight ahead.

Eleanor shrugged. “Neat. Maybe now you’ll let me hang up more sexy postman posters.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a weird rumination I had about what Chidi would be like if he realised he was bi lol. Quarantine and heat are making my brain smooooth as an egg.  
> Also for whatever reason I love the idea of Tahani being like “I just learnt how to fly a rocket!” and Eleanor being like “Well I’ve seen 1592 pigeons, so you tell me what’s cooler.”


End file.
